DOC DORK’S FAILED EXPERIMENTS · A WEBSITE-EXCLUSIVE COMIC · JAY JONES

A Sticky Situation

One small specimen. One very uncooperative experiment.

Page 1: The Specimen

THE STORY IN WORDS

Panel 1
Outside his brick laboratory, Dork crouches on a Cleveland sidewalk and scrapes a flattened wad of discarded pink chewing gum with a metal spatula. Pedestrians step around him. The gum has no eye yet.
Caption: CLEVELAND. 1987.
Dork: “Saliva. Traces of DNA. Practically a volunteer.”
Panel 2
Dork lifts the spatula to inspect the specimen. A sticky pink strand still stretches toward the ground.
Dork: “Some specimens require persuasion.”
Panel 3
In his blue-brick laboratory, Dork adjusts an analog dial. The ordinary gum rests on the steel workbench beneath the Animator, beside his open notebook.
Dork: “A small, simple organism. An excellent place to begin.”
Panel 4
Blue-white light crackles around the gum. It swells into an uneven pink blob and opens one large eye for the first time. It has no mouth or permanent limbs.
Sound effect: BZZZT!
Dork, off-panel: “There we are.”
Panel 5
The living gum springs from the workbench and stretches through the laboratory. Dork ducks, reaching toward it. A sticky strand catches his pencil. The gum glances back silently.
Dork: “Return to the table.”

Panel 1
Dork reaches for the darting gum as it releases the pencil toward his outstretched hand.
Dork: “You will follow instructions.”
Panel 2
The gum lands in Dork’s wild white hair. Its single eye peers down over his forehead while he looks upward through his enormous glasses.
Sound effect: SPLAT!
Dork: “That is not the table.”
Panel 3
Dork tries to peel the gum from his hair. It stretches between his hands and scalp, then springs away carrying a small tuft of white hair. His glasses sit crookedly. There is no wound.
Sound effect: TWANG!
Dork: “MY HAIR!”
Panel 4
The gum leaps through the open window toward a curbside drain, carrying the stolen tuft. Dork leans out after it.
Dork: “You are laboratory property!”
Panel 5
Inside the sewer, the pink blob perches proudly on a rusty pipe, wearing the tuft like a wig. Dork’s brown shoes are visible through the drain overhead as he searches. The gum remains silent. A small inset shows his laboratory notebook.
Caption: RESULT: ALIVE.
Caption: COOPERATIVE: NO.
Dork, from above: “I know you’re down there.”

DEFENDERS OF THE LAND

Four books. One Cleveland.